Let me tell you the number one rule to getting in and out of a daycare quickly: don’t ever kneel down.
Do so, and you will be swarmed by chubby elfkins hungry to show off for a mommy or daddy, anyone’s mommmy or daddy, and it’s, “Kaili’s mommy! Look what I got!”
You’ll be arrested by the luminous eyes of a pale child, “I got a BROWNIE ’cause I had a SORE.”
And you’re, “Oh, um, oh, that’s NICE. GOOD.”
Then an eager brown face bobs forward, “MY sister can READ.”
So you’re, “Oh, she’s a BIG GIRL, isn’t she?”
Smiling, nodding, retreating, overwhelmed with the thrill of impressing a parent.
Your hands are fumbling with the mittens, coat, hat, breakfast, spare outfit, lovey and nap blanket of your own child, who stands before you a bit irritated that her “friends” are monopolizing her mother, just wanting her breakfast and good-bye kiss.
The munchkins keep swarming; they mingle and flock; they actually ebb and flow.
You know the world of business awaits you Out There, with your inbox and your to-do list and your boss and that coworker who’s still waiting on that project from you.
You slowly edge backwards, away from the wobbling horde of bright, expectant faces and triumphant chatter (“She likes me!”).
And again, I tell you, the number one rule to getting in and out of daycare is never, never to kneel down. Because once you do, you might not want to stand back up again.